MUNCHNPUSS Not Muted, just ask WebSweetie, lol

Hello to all. Names MUNCHNPUSS, friends call me MUNCH. I know what alot of you are thinking, MUNCHPUSS, lol. Well folks, hate to disappoint, and you need to get your mind outa the gutter, lol. The name actually stems from my 2 kittys, MUNCH and PUSS. lol. That is my story, and Im sticking to it, lol. I am a Canadian, and proud of it. Love my country. I also love our neighbours to the south. After the terrorists attacks of September 11th, I hopped in my old truck with my gear and volenteered 2 weeks of my time to the rescue efforts. I am a steelworker by trade and knew my skills would come in handy. I stayed until I could stay no longer. Security tightened up tremendously because of platinum and gold that were surfacing. After that they basically shut out anyone non military or security cleared which left me ousted because of me being a foreigner. The hospitality I was given while I stayed there was tremendous. The Drake, (Swiss Hotel) Comped my room completely free of charge for my entire stay, and one night I was eating dinner, when I looked over and seen George Steinbruner. He asked what we were doing there, by this time Id met up with other Canadians, and he paid for all our dinners, came over, introduced himself and thanked us.Later that evening I was in my room resting when there was a knock at the door. It was a chauffeur for a great big Ford Excursion Limo. It seems George found out our room and sent a Limo to take us around the city so we could have other memories of New York other that the sadness we were witnessing daily. The limo was beautiful and came with a fully stocked bar. The police even pulled us over just to thank us. All in all, as horrible a situation, it was one of the few times in life where I seen humanity at its finest. Among all the horror, there was a togetherness that I will likely never see again.
As for me, I am married. I have 2 beautiful boys. One is just 18months, and the other will be 6 in a month. I love to snowmobile, ride bike, and spend time with my family. I love movies, T.V shows like Breaking Bad, Dexter, True Blood, The Walking Dead, Boardwalk Empire, Sopranos, Deadwood, Six Feet Under and last but not least Sons of Anarchy. If theres anything else you'd like to know, just ask, I'll answer if I can. I am a HUGE fan of this site. I love it and try and get as many people to join as I can. Anyways, this introduction was a long time coming, but it is finally done. Nice to meet you!!!

Bill A.K.A MUNCHPUSS

Here are some Adult Truths I though Id share;

· I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
· Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
· I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
· There is great need for a sarcasm font.
· How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
· Was learning cursive really necessary?
· Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
· Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
· I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
· Bad decisions make good stories.
· You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
· Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
· I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
· I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
· I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
· I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
· I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option…
· I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
· How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
· I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
· Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
· The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Here are some useless facts you can wrap your brain around. One thing I learned is how lucky the common Pig is!!!

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb..
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig..)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
(Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour
(Don't try this at home, maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity!)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm.....)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)
A cat's urine glows under a black light..
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out. )
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains
(I know some people like that, too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??, Do the dolphins know about the pig?)

Hope you enjoyed The Useless facts!! Now a wee rant about the youth of today, lol

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.... Uphill.... Barefoot... BOTH ways...yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today. You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don't know how good you've got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter - with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn't care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3's or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We'd play our favorite tape and "eject" it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that's how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that's it!

7) There weren't any freakin' cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn't make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your "friends". OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror... not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there's TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent.... you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn't have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'Asteroids'... Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what's the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I'm saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn't have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play... all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside... you were doing chores!

And car seats - oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the "safety arm" across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling "shot gun" in the first place!

See! That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 80's or any time before!

Regards,
The Over 30 Crowd